6 February 2005
Leona Czolgosz
The Great Buffalo Mayoral Questionnaire
Dear Potential Candidates for Mayor of the City of Buffalo:
We, the Daughters of the Pan-American Exposition (DOPE), optimistic about the future of our great city, request that you respond to the following 12 questions. Your responses will be reviewed by our Executive Board prior to our awarding our endorsement, to be announced at our annual tea dance at the Wilcox Mansion.
Yours very truly,
Leona Czolgosz
Recording Secretary
QUESTIONNAIRE
Analogies. Please choose one answer for each question:
1. City of Buffalo is to County of Erie as:
a. Heart is to body.
b. Specialized services district is to regional governing body.
c. Rob Ray is to Tie Domi.
d. Wayward son is to lunatic uncle.
2. Buffalo-Niagara Partnership is to Western New York as:
a. Think tank is to public policy.
b. College of Cardinals is to Vatican City.
c. Bellevue Hospital is to New York City.
d. OPEC is to oil.
3. NFTA is to Outer Harbor as:
a. Frank Lloyd Wright is to house.
b. Benderson is to strip mall.
c. Cholesterol is to artery.
d. Tower of London is to The Young Princes.
4. Bass Pro Shops is to Downtown as:
a. Quincy Market is to Boston.
b. Facelift is to Joan Rivers.
c. Fish is to parking ramp.
d. Willie Sutton is to bank.
Making Choices. Please choose one answer:
5. Malaysian representatives of a Native American tribe offer you $100,000 to support a casino in Cheektowaga. Would you:
a. Refuse and call the U.S. attorney?
b. Steer them to your friend, the casino developer?
c. Take the money, and wait until the next Native American election, when a new slate of tribal officials most probably will change their mind?
d. Take the money, drive to Niagara Falls, make your way to the roulette wheel, and bet it on “Red?”
6. The National Weather Service notes that an average of 92 inches of snow a year falls in Buffalo. As Mayor, would you:
a. Make it a priority to invest in snow plows and training for snow plow drivers?
b. Join a Convention and Visitors Bureau campaign to promote Buffalo as the “sunniest and driest city on the East Coast,” agreeing that conventioneers would flock to Buffalo if only it had an expensive new Convention Center?
c. Blame Washington and Albany?
d. Stay home and enjoy a six-pack?
7. As Mayor, you want to be seen to be supportive of the Buffalo Public Schools. When it comes to your own children would you:
a. Send them to regular Buffalo Public Schools?
b. Act surprised when they miraculously win the lottery for the Olmsted Magnet School and City Honors?
c. Cite your sudden, deep, recent religious convictions as the reason why they must attend the best parochial schools?
d. Arrange for your suburban relatives to temporarily adopt your children and send them to the Williamsville schools?
8. Every Mayor, after getting elected, likes to reward his or her electoral base and campaign contributors. If you win, would you:
a. Proclaim that “to the victor belong the spoils?”
b. Share limited resources across the city, based upon economics and equity?
c. Throw the pile of applications off the City Hall observation deck; only those landing in the vicinity of federal or state office buildings get funded.
d. Recommend funding the projects in the neighborhoods of board members of Buffalo Fiscal Stability Authority, because they’re running the city now?
Essays. Please answer each question in 500 words or less.
9. The city’s public employee unions contribute large amounts money and deliver thousands of votes to the campaigns of their favorite political candidates. Describe how, if at all, you will finesse making promises to gain their support, then, if you are elected, trying to get them to be reasonable at the bargaining table and get their members to work hard the day after you take office.
10. It is a time-honored tradition for Buffalo Mayors to hire family members, cronies and hacks to jobs in City Hall. The Buffalo Fiscal Stability Authority, exerting its control over city finances, is considering limiting the number of hangers-on the next Mayor may appoint to no more than 10. Please designate your Top 10 family members, cronies and/or hacks, briefly identify their experience, and describe the future City Hall positions in which they would do the least damage to the community.
11. Given the role of the Buffalo Fiscal Stability Authority, what is the role of the Buffalo Common Council? (Note: No need to use entire 500 words.)
12. Do you now experience, or have you ever experienced, the “Urge to Merge?” Describe.
Copyright 2004 by Buffalo Report, Inc.